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Wait, why am I talking?

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." – Stephen R. Covey

I first heard the acronym W.A.I.T. in a Non-Violent Communication (NVC) class, and it really hit home for me. I’ll admit—I have a tendency to talk a lot.


By taking a moment to "W.A.I.T." and ask myself, "Why am I talking?", I’ve started to develop more awareness of my own needs as well as the needs of the person listening. When someone listens to me, they’re offering their attention and energy, which I want to honor and respect.


Why I Tend to Talk Too Much

I’ve noticed that I ramble more when I feel nervous. Usually because I’m uncomfortable or worried about being judged or misunderstood. After a long ramble, I often feel embarrassed and regret not tuning in to the needs of the person I was talking to.


How I’m Practicing W.A.I.T.

Here are the steps I’m taking to slow down and be more intentional about my words:

  1. Remembering the W.A.I.T. acronym. Just having the phrase in mind helps me pause.

  2. Pausing before speaking. When someone finishes their thought, I practice leaving a few moments of silence before responding.

  3. Acknowledging when I catch myself rambling. For example, I’ll say, “I just realized I’ve been talking a lot—what are your thoughts on this?”

  4. Thinking before sharing a story. If someone tells me a story and I feel the urge to jump in with my own, I ask myself:

    • Am I trying to one-up or compare their story to mine?

    • What need of mine will be met by sharing this?

    • Have I fully acknowledged and honored their story before adding my own?


Progress Through Awareness

Awareness is the first step toward growth and becoming the best version of ourselves. I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve already noticed how much more connected I feel in conversations when I practice W.A.I.T.


I’d love to hear your thoughts! Do you ever find yourself talking more than you’d like? How do you practice being mindful in conversations? Share your experiences in the comments!





Written by:

Erika Baum, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, LPCC, NCC

EMDR-Trained

Denver, Castle Rock, Englewood, Colorado

Book an appointment HERE.




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